Saturday, February 5, 2011

When Are You Going to Get a “Real Job”?

February Challenge Question 5:
5. Disregarding the amount of the paycheck, what career would you love to have?
Being a stay-at-home mom and housewife. That’s really disregarding the paycheck, isn’t it?

Me being housewifey. :)
In college, I decided that is what I really wanted to be.  I did enjoy school and working toward a career, but the college I first attended has this great children’s library on campus, so there were always moms on campus with their little ones, and I told God—that’s what I really want. And I feel like God told me that I could have that; I didn’t have to have a big career.  That brought me so much joy.

But when you are in college, you are working toward a career, and as time passed, I became very career minded again.  I decided that I wanted to go on to get my master’s in English and become a professor. And I started working toward that goal, even after I met Michael.  He knew of my dream to become a stay-at-home mom, and it was his dream that I could do that, too.  But I kept pursuing a career as an English professor.
After we were engaged, I started thinking about this whole becoming a professor thing more and more.  Michael supported my decision to go to grad school, but what was God’s will?  Would this be a wise decision for our family?
Then one Sunday morning, I got on my knees and really began to seek after God’s will on the issue. I asked if He could please provide me answers at church that morning.
Well, He did.
That morning, almost one year exactly from today, my pastor preached on 1 Peter 3:1-7. You can listen to the sermon here. (Listen if you can.  It’s so good.)

1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 Your adornment must not be merely external -braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses ; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands ; 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. 7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman ; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:1-7
God spoke straight to my heart that morning through Pastor Lance.  He said, “Women have been taught in our society that they have to go out and do something 'great'…Ladies, what could possibly be better than fulfilling your God given role that God gave to the woman in the garden with Adam  in being his helpmate [and] ministering to your children.  If you think something is better than that, you have clearly bought into the world…The greatest woman in the world is ministering to her husband and her children.” I wanted to be that woman.  I want more than anything to be the woman that God has called me to be. I also remember Lance telling the women of the church that we didn't need a Master's degree.

I silently  thanked God in my pew seat, rereading the words of Peter.  I had His answer loud and clear. 
After church, I told Michael I wanted to have lunch alone together because I wanted to talk about the sermon with him.  We sat down at Arby’s together with our beef melts, and I told him what I got out of Lance’s teaching that morning.  To tell you the truth, I was a little nervous about telling Michael I was thinking about not going to grad school. I didn’t want him to think I was a cop-out. But I just didn’t think it was a wise decision for me to go, and I had just read “do what is right without being frightened by any fear.”
Here are some of the reasons why I knew it was not a wise decision:
First of all, it would cost us lots of money and we would just have more school loans over our heads.  Second, we both want to eventually adopt, and me going to grad school would just make it even harder for us to do that, financially speaking. Third, my degree would take me at least two years to complete, and I wouldn’t even have been starting it until a year from then. Plus, I felt like I would need to use the degree and become a professor after I graduated. So how many years would that take? I wanted to have kids and be a stay- at-home mom before however long that could possibly all take.  It just didn’t make sense for me to go back to school.
And to my surprise, Michael was happy with my decision.  He didn’t want to keep me from going to grad school (He believes education is important.), but he agreed that it was a wiser decision for our family for me to not go back to school.
On my drive home after lunch that day, my shoulders felt so much lighter.  The burden of school and a career were taken away from me.
Today I’m an English tutor for two local community colleges, and I know that God is using this season of my life to prepare me to be a mom, so I am living my dream—I’m right where God wants me.  And even though people frequently question my decision to not go back to school and ask me when I’m going to get “a real job,” I know I have made the right decision.
We are planning to wait a few years before having kids.  We’re saving money to be able to buy a place to keep the little boogers—a one bedroom apartment just isn’t going to cut it. Plus we need to be in a place financially where I can stay at home. I can’t wait to see little feet pattering around!
Oh, and any advice you might possibly have for us right now in this season is much appreciated.
So what is your dream job?


Some yarn I've been wanting was on sale today at Michael's!

Isn't it yummy?!

I can't wait to get started on new crochet projects!


Evan Christopher Weppler said...

I am so excited for you to have that confirmation of calling, knowing where God wants you to be. I'm excited to see where He leads your family over the next few years.
I also believe that God has different plans for different people- and if a woman is called to be single, then so be it; or if she is called to be a wife and involved in business or education, then so be it; if a woman is called to be a wife and mother and more, then so be it. We know that God calls some of us to be single (Paul, Martha) and some to be involved in things outside the home (Deborah, Lydia) and some of us to be primarily mothers or fathers (Mary).
Sorry, I hope this doesn't come across wrong- just some of the stuff your pastor shared didn't agree with me. In the end, I believe that God was using his words to speak to you at that moment. I just know other people who are involved in work outside the home or are single, and I feel that they haven't "bought into the world." Once again, I just wanted to share my thoughts. You know my heart, Shaynee, and in the end, I am glad to hear how God is leading you in your and Michael's lives at this time. Grace and Peace- Uno

Anonymous said...

This has always been my dream for you as well........... even before I knew you, even before you were born. Stay open to God's leading. He may plant more seed in your heart for a later harvest. May God bring you much joy as you watch this dream unfold. You will never regret this.
Love you. Teresa

Anonymous said...

I love this post! I can't wait to meet your future kids and to meet the mommy version of you.

Laura Gallier said...

As a mother of four, I know how fast the time goes, how it feels to have to miss the class Christmas party because you have to work or the anguish you feel when your child is sick but your boss (and paycheck) is counting on you being at work that day. I know some women get downright angry with this mindset, but you are so right - there is no higher calling than to be a fulltime mom. And it doesn't mean that's ALL you can do! Mother's Day Out programs help bring balance for mom - she needs and deserves time to herself to do thing that interest her.

Please pray for me - I am RIGHT smack dab in the middle of trying to transition out of my job to be home with the kids.

Lance Waldie said...

God's true children are those willing to be led by His words as found in the Scriptures. And God's true children count it a privilege to follow Christ at any cost. I'm so proud to know you Shaynee as my sister in Christ -- a woman who has taken a bold stand for Christ without compromise and is following Christ's mold for a wife at the cost of forfeiting all the things you could attain with a second income. Though God's word is unpopular in today's world and doesn't sit well with some, it always sits well with His children. His perfect plan is attained in us when we submit to His perfect will. God bless you for doing just that! You are a great encouragement and blessing to me. Thanks for sharing your story.

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