Monday, June 27, 2011

Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth

Let me share with you some pillow talk I had with my husband at 2:00am this morning.

Michael: Grind. Grind. Grind. (The teeth grinding is not the same decibel level of Maria Sharapova, but it's close.)
Me: (Awakened by teeth grinding.) Michael, can you please put your mouth guard in?
Michael: Um-hm. (Doesn't move.)
Me: (Shakes him a little.) Michael, can you please put your mouth guard in?
Michael: (Rolls over about to get up and then just flops onto stomach.)
Me: (Louder voice.) Michael?
Michael: (With an attitude.) Wh-at?
Me: Can you PLEASE put your mouth guard in?
Michael: (Very poignantly.) No. Because then I'll wake up.

He was apparently asleep through this whole conversation (He didn't recollect any of this in the morning.), but I was definitely wide awake by this point.

At our wedding rehearsal dinner, my mother-in-law asked our guests what they wish someone had told them before they got married. Our pastor said, "How difficult it is to sleep with someone." I don't see what difference this information makes, but sleeping next to Michael is more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.  I love it, but some nights not as much as others.

A friend of mine,  at the beginning of her marriage, used to wake up to her husband slapping her in the face with his arm in the middle of the night.  She finally slapped him back one night, and that was the end of that.

Michael and I also went through this violent stage at the beginning of our marriage. There were some nights where I thought he was reaching over to hug me, but he instead hit me in the stomach and rolled back over. It didn't really hurt and it wasn't on purpose, but it's hard to get a good nights sleep when that is joined by stealing all the covers, snoring and teeth grinding.

He eventually learned the parameters in which he needed to keep his hands, feet and elbows. We got him a night guard to fix the teeth grinding problem. We now have separate covers. The snoring still happens, but if I fall asleep before him, I can usually tune it out. 

I used to think of myself as a heavy sleeper before I got married.  Maybe God is just working to prepare me for kids.

Do you have any funny sleeping/not sleeping marriage stories? Do share.

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